Sunday, February 8, 2009

What I think-dear is that the auto-wala is here

Alec Smarts Pic: A photo which was shown in the exhibtion stall of Kashmir in IIUM, my university..

Its been quite some time that I wrote a real trademark TOK style article.. Well yes i didnt, I just copied an old one which no one had read ever.. except for the SAKOOTER.. She wanted an article for a magazine.. And this is that article..

10 January 2008 (This ones real old, man)

Remember the good old days? When all you needed was your car and the
keys to reach your office (School, tuitions anything) on time.
Everyone thought that it was a good idea and decided to get one for
themselves. After all, the very amount of pride one would get would be
worth the price.. Some people wanted to help you. The same people
created banks. The banks, thus, sprang up everywhere to give people a
cool idea called, in short, car loans.

Yes, car loans- it was a huge sensation. All you needed was a bank and
some people and your thumb (for the thumb-print). And thus the car was
yours. Not to mention that the people from the 'mohalla' would change
their attitude.. They would now bow down in respect.. (Dont forget the
thumb-printed application while you read this)

You wish you had left home earlier..
You wish you had your office at home..
You wish you lived in USA..
You wish the traffic would clear up.
You wish that J&K bank would stop giving car loans...

Welcome to 2008, the year of traffic in our state! A flyover is being
built. (You know.. I just figured it out.. It is still being built)
The one near lal-chowk is being rarely used (As I said
somewhere that people are afraid of heights). Tata unveiling the 1
lakh car. (Due date was August.. Lots Of Tension I remember)
The sheer dominance of the Maruti 800 on Kashmiri roads is
my concern here. Wait a few months more and TATA shall rule the

Some people do know how to drive, yes only some.. The others are
trying to figure out what will happen if they press their brakes a
little too late or turn that wheel in their hands a bit too far. And
thus we require the 'Blue Men'. The traffic guys.. Whose job is to
stop every car and ask for papers.. If no papers they ask for money..
If no money they ask how come the car.. You reply, "J&K Bank.."

Red Eyed and with weakened lungs, I bravely turn my head towards my
left.. Oh Dear!! How could I forget..

Getting a clear road is a lottery, and just in case it was clear,
getting an Auto to stop dancing along the road was like winning the
state and the national lottery on the same day. For those who didn't
understand, please read the next paragraph!!

In a dizzyling display of driving skills, the 'auto uncle' moves
between the other vehicles. Going by the delicious and creative name
of 'Dilbur Raja', this unique mechanical creature is one of the most
randomly moving contraptions ever made.. The other cars (not even half
as random) who want to blow off steam have to manage by just blowing
the horns. But how could one imagine the very low and disgusting horns
who cant even shake the majesty out of them..

And suddenly they stop..
And if you are behind the auto you stop as well..
Thoughts come into you mind!!
"Autos dont stop, Why did he?"

You raise you head up a bit and say, "Oh yeah! I forgot this one too,
Swaraj Mazda BUS"

The auto guy puts behind himself all his experiences and tries to curl
round the bus (and succeeds)..

Yeah the auto!!
A- All
U- Under
T- This
O- Onslaught

You can talk to any 'uninvited' guest at your home and discuss the
politics behind Benazirs murder, you can make your point in places
like blogs (how about mine) but take my word, you cant stop these 'Men
in Black'. They are determined to take on the traffic. And I am
determined to catch my forty winks of autoless sleep!!